An Open Letter to Jenna Hamilton

Dear Jenna,

You. Are. The. Coolest. If Awkward. had existed seven years ago, my high school experience probably would have been different, maybe better, less scarring, perhaps? I have to hand it to you (and the Roku/Hulu Plus Autoplay situaysh in my apartment), you consumed my entire weekend. And I don’t regret a single second of it.

I woke up on Saturday, made my usual breffis – everything bages+TJ’s goat cheese with honey+extra honey on top+advil+water+coffee+tangerine juice – and lollygagged over to my couch from my kitchen, an epic journey of 20 feet. I sat down, put my feet up, pressed play, and didn’t get up for the rest of the day except to pee. Why? Because I was busy falling. in. love. With the Jake v. Matty dilemmz (Team Jake! (for now)), with Tamara’s slanguage, with Ming’s hipster beanie+glasses look, with Allie’s juice cleanse, but espesh with J. Ham and her blawg. If I were a lezzie high school girl I would probably chase you down wear JENNA LIVES t-shirts and call you my soulmate.

Props for pulling off the Damsel-in-Distress meets Damsel-in-a-Cupcake-Dress look. Very fashion forward.

Let’s start with how you’re so-totally-self-aware. And even though you weren’t blogging for anyone else and it just happens to be in your confessional/writerly nature, everyone became obsessed with you ANYWAY because your qualms and questions about life are super duper relatable and precociously insightful. Srsly though, you’re like a young bloggy Carrie Bradshaw in the making, if we replace the stilettos with converse and the Miranda with a Ming. And you’re just as horny. PS: Way jeal of your sexytimes in the summer camp closet with Matty McKibben. Way to cross that one off the bucket list.

Matty McKibs may sexually satisfy… but can he intellectually satisfy?

One of the biggest emotional struggles happening in my life right now while I wait for Season 3 is that I’m worried about you and Tamara and your Best Friendship Forever. I can’t take another break between the two of you, it will break my heart, but there’s going to be so much juicy dramedy in the J & T galavant off to go Eurotrash on yo’ ass and Matty still can’t do nothin’ but satisfy you sexually story that I’m starting to see it as inevitable. BUT, as BFF’s go, I’m sure you’ll get through it, because a) it’s television b) I heard her option has been picked up for Season 3 and c) my happiness depends on her Slanguage. So far, I have mad respect for your friend loyalty, so please don’t disappoint me, J.

Really though, you make my high school experience seem not that bad after all.

So, to everyone in the world who doesn’t watch Awkward., please go watch it before a) I slap you b) JC gets mad and and you have to repent for your sins c) Season 3 comes around and you’re “too behind” to catch up. No excuses. It is LTB.

You’re welcome.

Your Bestest Gal-pal


3 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Jenna Hamilton

  1. Pingback: An Open Letter to Jenna Hamilton Part Deux | Tube Top Television

  2. Pingback: Finding Carter: Could it be? A REALLY AWESOME scripted show on MTV? | Tube Top Television

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