Television

The Consumers Speak Out: Starz Edition

Dear Starz,

You’re like the XXX-treme Uncle of the Prem Cabes fam.

The Butcher? Or we could call him UNCLE BENNY D? Eh?

Except, you know, bloodier, sandier, smokier, sexier…

He. Is. Spartacus.

… and always tryna Party Down.

Hollywood hopefuls in uniform.

We were worried, until King Chris whisked you off to Original Programming rehab.

Don’t worry, Kels, there’s a great treatment center in Marina Del Rey (with a Coffee Bean that fully validates!)

And now you’re back! And oh-so-easy on the eyes.

Heyyyyy, Sexy Lady

Love,

The whole pirating family, holding out hope for the future since 2010.

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