Television / Uncategorized

An Open Letter to Benedict Cumberbatch

Dearest Benedict,

Maybe it’s just the way Paul McGuigan lights up your cheekbones, but sir, I’ve got to hand it to you: you’ve got the sexy-nerdy-creeper look down. Normally, I go for a more Jewy type. Grumbly, constantly kvetching, with a five o’clock shadow and a short guy complex is sorta my style. Let’s be honest though, I’d change my name to Irene and elope to Baskerville for you in two seconds… if you’d let me.

Whip me baby one more time.

Whip me baby one more time?

You may think I just like you cause you’re really smart. With your “powers of deduction” and your thought processes streaming along the TV screen all lightning-speed-like, but that’s just your ego talking.

Wife-up-able Quality #3: Efficient with a smartphone.

Wife-up-able Quality #3: Efficient with a smartphone.

What I’m really into is your sartorial commitment to the scarf. Scarves are clearly the most essential accessories when it comes to brisk London weather / hiding your skinny neck. Add the weirdly long coat and ironic hat and you totally give off a Sexy Sherlock Holmes vibe.

Screen Shot 2012-11-30 at 10.05.27 AM

Oh, wait. You are Sexy Sherlock Holmes…

Additionally, I’d like to state that your dedication to your little Watsy is totally adorbs and lovable. Aside from Jews, nothing is sexier to me than a good authentic TV Bromance.

Coats on Bros on Bros.

In conclusion, Please let the British Broadcasting Corporation know that they’re going to need to postpone Season 3 because you have to (Star) Trek away with me to the Bahamas where we shall elope and have little genius babies, who I will raise with love and care because you are technically incapable of feeling feelings for humans.

Loving you anyway,



2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Benedict Cumberbatch

  1. Pingback: Credit where Credit’s Due | Tube Top Televsion

  2. Pingback: How to Cope: Celebrity Crushing | Tube Top Television

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