Instead of starting/finishing/powering through many of the shows I meant to watch over my holiday break – The Wire, Game of Thrones, Six Feet Under, Twin Peaks – I re-visited old favorites and also saw the Bridget Jones Diary 1 & 2 movies for the first time. My mostest favoritest experience was re-watching Season 1 of Mad Men, which was super duper artistically satisfying and also, other hyperbolic stuff that people say about it because it’s amazing.
Here’s to making it past the (zombie?) apocalypse. Below, some Mad-Men inspired New Years Resolutions:
1. Be practical about the possibility of sexual intercourse, but try to get pregs with neither real babies nor food babies until at least next Thanksgiving. None.
2. Respect your own boundaries. And remember, when h8ers ask, “What are you afraid of?” that it is acceptable/classy to look them straight in the eyes and respond, “Are you joking?” because that’s hella real.
3. Justify smoking by looking extremely cool while doing it.
4. When it’s necessary, go ahead and have that third old-fashioned. Who knows? It may lead to napkin-scribble inspired brilliance!
5. Take a paper bag, cut two eyeholes, put it over your head. Take all of your clothes off. Then, stand in a mirror, and really think about where your strengths and weaknesses are. Then, remember it’s 2013, pull the bag off of your head, assess YOUR MIND, put on this song, and dance around whilst embracing your own nudity.
6. Write outside of work. People will be impressed and secretly jealous.
7. Be adventurous, but also prepared for random acts of spontaneity, by always bringing a change of clothes.
8. Stop falling for charming bohemian artists. They ain’t stable. And neither are you, so like, I mean, it’s cool, but that could become pretty problematic. I’m just saying.
9. Respect the homeless. Maybe you just don’t speak their language.
10. Go to Therapy. Get childhood dreams of being a model out of your system with the help of a licensed professional.
Happy New Year!