It sounds counterintuitive, because it’s Spring and Daylight Savings already happened, but Winter is Coming.
3.31.13 is the Game of Thrones premiere, which you already know if you keep a calendar/are an informed consumer because it’s clearly a cultural phenomenon. Therefore: we are going to talk about Game of Thrones all week. We are going to get you all ready for the premiere. When the time comes, when everybody shuts up and the television screen sings those sweet, beautiful words: “and now, the HBO season premiere…” you will be ready. Ready to experience this magical moment to the fullest.
do we mean by “ready”? What is there to be ready for? You were BORN ready. Duh. This is Game of Thrones.
Well, we respectfully disagree. Something as glorious, momentous, stupendous – hyperbolic adjectives, etc. etc. – as Game of Thrones requires serious preparation. Lucky for you, we did most of the work!
Whether you’re a hater, a non-watcher, a casual viewer, a skeptic, or a serious fan, WE WILL GET YOU READY. For:
The celibate will struggle…
And the sexually active will struggle…
Because HELLO when you play the Game of Thrones you win or die so everybody struggles.
Okay, we know what you’re thinking. This is intense. This is really a lot to handle. You’re thinking, “Sure. It’s just a Sunday night of television, but you know what…”:
WELL THAT’S GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. Because there will be eating, drinking, FEASTING! (Like, we will actively encourage that you feast on Sunday during the premiere (or before, or after, or whatever floats your boat) and will provide motivation for you to do so.)
And if you’re anything like me, there will also be many earnest wishes to be Arya Stark.
And last but not least, most importantly of all – Westeros-changing Winter-Is-Coming Life-altering importantly…