Let’s play Trailer Speculation! Now, with Game of Thrones, there are two audiences for TS: those who watch the show and want excitement sans spoilers, and those who have read the books and want to know how the show will adapt the story. Have you read the books? Would you like us to talk about that? We can talk about that. That could be a thing. For now though, we’ll stick to casual viewers who haven’t read 5,000ish pages of fantasy.
Trailer Speculation is a wonderful game wherein we pore over every frame of a preview and guess at what it all means. For this TS installment, I’m not going to tell you anything that isn’t there for you to see with your own eyes, but I will look at it more closely than a normal person would because, I mean, have you been reading these posts?
Okay, the first full trailer HBO released was also the best. This is one of my favorite trailers of all time.
Perfect editing, perfect tone, perfect song choice which is made all the more impressive by the fact that the actual un-edited song is not quite so great (yes, I bought the song immediately. Stop looking at me like that), and most important, perfect amount of content. We somehow feel incredibly satisfied and yet the new season is still essentially unspoiled and shrouded in mystery. God bless you, HBO editors. Here are the awesome things we see in the trailer! How excited are you???
So I’m going to speculate on that one. Here:
1. A crazy-eyed Viking climbing some ice that looks a heck of a lot like the Wall. So, it’s clearly a Wildling, someone we haven’t met before. We know Wildlings do sometimes make their way over or around the Wall, because Osha had to get to Winterfell somehow. We also know the Wildlings are camped in some ice mountains right now. Does this look like a Wall ascent to you?
2. Bran shooting an arrow. Wait, how? Like from a chair?
3. “Everyone is mine to torment.” Is that a stand-alone statement (“Today is going to be fun – everyone is mine to torment!”) or a response to something? Did someone just tell Joffrey that someone was not his to torment? Joffrey is going to torment someone, possibly against the wishes of someone else. This isn’t exactly a shock, but still, I appreciate Joff’s consistency.
4. Jaime throwing his head back and screaming. In pain? Grief? Rage? Soul-cleansing redemptive self-awareness? Weird orgasm? The Golden Boy experiences a strong emotion in the dark of night. Moments like this are why we watch this show.
5. Daenerys has soldiers. Finally.
6. “I’m losing this war.” Oh Robb. Robb, Robb, Robb. We left you with a new wife and some differing opinions on where to go next. We were hoping your wartime fortunes would have turned around when next we met. Is this the struggle before the triumph, or the death knell?
7. Someone tied to an X with a bag over his head. We know someone who had a bag over his head last season. Someone whose abs we’ve seen before, in happier times. Is there any favorable way to interpret being tied to an X and blindfolded? No. No there isn’t.
8. Jon meets Mance. Remember how Jon just KILLED QORIN HALFHAND to infiltrate the Wildlings? Remember how it sort of looked like maybe it was a more emotional decision than it should have been? How is Jon feeling about that? Is it just me, or does this conversation feel a little father-figurey?
9. The Hound fights in a cavern. Ugh, more fire. Give the man a break. But I’m glad he’s coming back! (Click here for our discussion of how under-appreciated Rory McCann is, and check out this short interview where he talks about being in the new season more. HBO, if you drop any more of his scenes, I’m going to cut YOU.)
10. A guy sets a sword on fire with his hand? WHAT!
11. Brienne has blood on her shirt and is screaming. Wait, her shirt? Where is her armor? That better not be her blood, I’m not even joking.
12. A bear. Just when you thought this show couldn’t get any more intense, they straight up throw a Kodiak into the mix. There is nothing scarier than a huge bear, people. Have you read Blood Meridian?
13. A small person walking in the mist, possibly towards Bran. Is Bran going to finally make an age-appropriate friend?
14. “There’s a beast in every man, and it stirs when you put a sword in his hand.” So the writers are still amazing, Jorah is still old-man sexy, and presumably something happened to prompt that statement to Daenerys, although to be honest I’d have no objections if Jorah just started speaking in context-less aphorisms.
15. Rast (the mean Night’s Watch brother who came to the wall with Jon as a convicted rapist) with a sword. Rising to the challenge of the White Walker attack? Or something else?
16. Ygritte looks sexy. CAVE sexy.
17. Funeral boat. Can you see the sigil? Are you worried?
18. Jaime gets a sword. He looks happy, doesn’t he? Do you think this is before or after the screaming?
19. “I’m going to light the biggest fire the North has ever seen!” Mance, you don’t have to show off to impress us. We like you for who you are.
20. Dragon fishing. They look bigger, don’t they?
21. Robb and Talisa make out naked. Judging by his mom’s reaction, all the making out in the world couldn’t make this marriage worth it, but maybe they’ll make an heir to the King in the North??
22. Prostitute. Do you recognize her? I don’t recognize her. The setting looks like Littlefinger’s brothel. Is that Ros? Or just general prostitute action?
Never change, HBO.