An Open Letter to Jenna Hamilton Part Deux

Dear Jenna,

We’re only 4 episodes into Season III of MTV’s “Awkward,” and I’m finding myself a leeetle disappointed. J, you’re my girl, but I feel like you’re taking the title of your TV show to heart a little too much. In Season’s I & II, yes there were inner struggz, but you always faced your self-consciousness and awkward situayshes head on. In fact, you knew you had to face them because by virtue of being a writer your hyper sensitive self-criticism (“self awareness,” it’s been called) necessitated that you do something big and dramatic, and “stopped being a pussy.”

We miss the days when you had nothing to lose.

We miss the days when you had nothing to lose.

Well, now that it seems your own sexual needs are met on a regular basis, you’ve stopped thinking about your inner badass, and have gone on with a little bit of meekness and a sickly looking complexion to match. When Matty wanted to talk, you fled because you thought he was going to break up with you – even when just beforehand, you had desperately wanted to talk with him! When Matty’s parents railed against you and your mom, you did nothing – just stood there! Where is the Jenna we know who to combat the rumor that she had attempted suicide tried all manner of things from pep rallies to blow out parties to uber private secret blog publishing? Where is she, Jenna? Where. Is. She.

Oh right. She's right there. Looking into those playful eyes and sweetly sincere smile, dammit.

Oh right. She’s right there. Looking into those playful eyes and sweetly sincere smile, dammit.

Now, regarding all of this birth control ish, I think we need to have a little talk. It is, first of all, great, that your mom and you have such an open and trusting relationship (despite that whole terrible letter thing). It was absolutely the right thing for her to do to buy you birth control. And we’re glad you’re being vigilant and taking care to ensure your womb stays empty (BECAUSE BOYS DON’T GET PREGNANT, GIRLS DO).

That's right J, a little wisdom goes a long way.

That’s right J, a little wisdom goes a long way.

But there was a talk that needed to precede the prescription and pap smear getting, and that was – a sex talk. From your mother. Jenna, we don’t agree with Mrs. McKibben that your parents providing you with birth control was condoning sex. That was being safe. But it seems that there is no one in your life reminding you that you are only 16, and that that is still mighty young to be having sex. Sure, lots and lots of people do it, and it wasn’t necessarily the wrong move, but where was that message? Perhaps if Mrs. H had not jumped on the HS sweetheart humping bandwagon so abruptly, maybe you’d be taking your relationship with your best friends more seriously, and focusing on things other than your relationship.

We’re glad you’re doing the dirty with Matty, but for the sake of your young and impressionable viewers, here is a message from us, in place of your mother, that we wish had appeared on TV: you are very young to be having all that sex. But because you are a free agent, and you are ultimately going to do what you want and what you think is right, take care of yourself, whatever your decision.

Now that wasn't so bad, was it?!

Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?!

Now go and do as you will. But be safe. Safety first, safety always! And remember – don’t be a pussy (but take care of yours!)


Someone who would have watched Awkward when she was 16.


One thought on “An Open Letter to Jenna Hamilton Part Deux

  1. Pingback: Pink Hair, Don’t Care + Why MTV’s “Girl Code” is Actually Awesome | Tube Top Television

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