Tara’s off to jail! Clay is off to jail too! Jax is turning out just like Clay! Gemma is still being badass Gemma with the lies and threats! Juice is conflicted! Tig is emotionally damaged (even more than usual). Bobby is out as VP! Otto still won’t snitch (cuz now he’s got no tongue to do it with)! Nero’s still being a king amongst pimps! And the rest of the crew is getting into their usual amounts of shenangians.
Before we jump down the rabbit hole that is Sons of Anarchy, I’d like to apologize in advance for not hitting every story line. That’s impossible. Gemma alone had at least 8 heart to hearts this episode.
But I digress, our story begins with a possible baby Jax? Oh wait, just his usual journal writing voice over. But it’s clear that this kid will be someone* in this episode, this isn’t the type of show to hold a beat on someone without reason. Gemma has moved right into playing mommy dearest while Tara sweats it out in jail. Things seem to be finally going Gemma’s way, but we know that won’t last for long because happiness isn’t exactly a main player in this show. Well you know, except for Happy.
Lee Toric begins his parade du revenge, starting with our tongue tied favorite Otto who finds himself in a compromising position. A threat here, an angry glare there, and Toric is off to try make a deal with his next target. We cut to find our hero of the story meeting with August Marks (the ever so attractive Billy Brown) to discuss the Clay of it all. Would he sell out the club to save his own ass? SPOILER ALERT, yes, yes he would.
We now have our 2nd encounter with the little blonde boy. This kid is kinda creepy AMIRITE? In comes Primo (aka Dave Navarro with a massive face scar) so we know that this kid and the club will have something to do with each other at some point. The lawyer Lowen is on the hunt to figure out how to get Tara out of jail. Tara tells her that she thinks Gemma turned her in, Lowen turns around and tells that to Jax, who then tells that to Gemma, and this show has become one big game of telephone. It was Gemma in the parlor with an ice pick! Oh sorry, wrong game.
Hey guys, did you know that torture porn is a thing? And Lyla gets involved because of her “stupid whore” sister. She starts crying for Opie (we’re all still crying for Opie). Cut to the opening credits so everyone can take a deep breath and say a little prayer for Opie.
Now that Bobby is out as VP, he’s debating his exit plan. Nomad maybe? This is a motorcycle club though so there are rules to be follow (4 members must not have a home to be considered nomad. Would 5 make them a pack?) But he obviously has to go somewhere since he doesn’t have an oven to bake with. Gemma and Wendy hash it out RE: the children but Wendy has about as much as she can take with that place. I mean Gemma is already scheming before Wendy even has a chance to get to her car, so I totally get understand her desire to GTFO.
Back to torture porn. Yes, this is on basic cable. No, I don’t know how the money got into that censor’s back pocket. The guys come to just have a little chat, but we all know that never works. The Ghanezi bros are now the Gone-ezi bros as the club let’s them know what’s what. And it was a great opportunity for Tig to pull out his can of crazy whoop-ass on one of them after a daughter comment (he’s still so broken up guys).
We are now introduced to the infamous retired police officer Charlie Barosky (aka Peter Weller aka Robo Cop). The boys stepped in on his territory and he ain’t down with that. But first, a history lesson.
Continuing his cross-jail tour, Toric gives Tara her only options (since he’s the one that put her in jail). Either 5-7 in county, or WITSEC (aka witness protection) but she has to sell the hubs upstream. She isn’t a rat though and would never want to help the pill junkie Toric at the expense of Jax. Ah true love. Chibbs isn’t happy with Juice’s return. He’s a risk but Jax can’t handle losing another member. But of course, Chibbs has to do something, so he takes it out on Juice’s adorable face, because we haven’t seen a fight with only fists yet.
Jax and Nero have an intro meeting with Barosky’s girl Colette. She and the girls just want to go legit! Agreements are made and Jax and Colette head to her bunny house, or whatever the hell they call those places. Colette shows Jax the lay of the land while he gets a call from lawyer Lowen that Tara doesn’t want him at the hearing. So many conflicting emotions, so little time. Colette is there to heal his wounds, or to just have him end up on top of her. Whatever works.
Lawyer Lowen comes to find Jax, get’s a faceful of Gemma instead. Tread lightly lady law! Gemma is still on her threat war by making sure the lawyer knows that Tara could be her last client if she keeps yapping her flaps. Lowen should remember client privilege, but I guess then again it’s a motorcycle club, everything is a secret (and also nothing is a secret).
So now we’ve come to the part where my brain turns to mush. I am very thankful that it was much less graphic then it could have been, but in a way that almost made it worse. Because you knew exactly what was happening even without seeing it. This incident spells some real trouble for the club though. It’s presumed that the gun was one of the ones sold to Nero’s guys (and is actually verified in the “coming up this season” clip package at the end of the show).
Our show ends with a montage to some pretty sad music with each character finding their comfort in something. Whether it be a girl, a needle, or a cozy prison blanket, each one of the members of this soap opera have some sort of resolution. Obviously nothing was solved, it’s only EP 1, we still got 12 more times of issues to get through!
I hope you enjoyed this ride through the land of the MC and I’ll see you guys next week.