Television

Homeland Season 3 Precap: Wassup with where we left off?

Oh, Homeland. You crazy crazy soap opera. Like True Blood and Dexter, Homeland is one of those shows that  set a really high standard for itself. Unlike True Blood and Dexter, Homeland’s downhill spiral started early. Like, after Q&A, the Emmy-winning episode written by Henry Bromell in which Carrie effing finally gets da truth out of the ever tight-lipped Brody. If you want more, here’s the Wikipedia page.  I considered, instead of this precap, writing an open letter to David Nevins begging him to allow/force his writers to SLOW THE TRAIN DOWN and NOT LET THIS SHOW BECOME 24 (same creators, same tendency to put politicians in entirely unrealistic situations and let them get away with totes illegal stuff then write around the consequences rather than addressing them… but 24 has a built-in structural gimmick – 24 hours – that helps the write-around process, not to mention the inherent limitations of Network television audiences, whereas Homeland just has no excused), instead I’m going to suspend my disbelief a little longer, and summarize where we are in preparation to watch Season 3.

This is hard for me. The words “Season Three” are hard for me. I think this show should have been a mini-series from Day 1. The first season of Homeland was an epic adventure built on an incredible concept and unprecedented political tensions that we’d never before seen on premium cable, and it deserved all the statues and accolades it received. But it was inherently temporary. “Carrie & Brody the star-crossed lovers” plot doesn’t hold Season 2 together because that isn’t a story arc for a whole show. It’s a story arc for a season. And that season ended a season ago. Then the show became a wacky soap opera with voyeuristic spy-sex and fingerprints all over the Vice President’s pacemaker that were never addressed.

I say this frankly, albeit with sadness, because I love him sort of: It’s time for Nicholas Brody to die. If Crazy Carrie and Super Serious Saul are going to live to tell their stories, Brody can’t continue to be in those stories without acting as little more than a damaging plot device. If Carrie continues to believe so strongly in Brody’s innocence, I’m going to lose my love for her, my respect for her, and my belief that she can change her mind and grow up and learn new things and face new challenges. And if she can’t do those things, why would I want to keep watching for six seasons? I could go on, but instead I’ll start talking about what I’m supposed to talk about now. Which is to say, where we are at the end of season 2. Let’s do it by character? Ok, let’s.

OB-VN491_homela_E_20121130155329

David Estes – super dead. After hiring Quinn to “keep an eye” on Saul, Carrie & company, then to kill Brody, then having none of his order-wishes granted, Estes fell victim to da bomb that *someone* (Brody? According to Carrie and Brody, NO. According to everyone else, probably.) set off in the Season 2 finale. It’s okay though, he was getting pretty boring.

Sexy, sexy man.

Oh hello, Sexyman.

Peter Quinn – Did not kill Brody because he saw Brody and Carrie being in love or something and his conscience didn’t let him. Could be perceived as in some way responsible for the 9/11 2.0 that happened in “The Choice,” no? I guess it depends on whether or not Brody did it… speaking of Brody. Also, Quinn could be the mole. Because WHO IS THE MOLE OTHERWISE THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY CHARACTERS ON THIS SHOW.

Protect your family, Mama.

Protect your family, Mama.

Jessica Brody – So totally over her husband. Offish having an affair with his army biffle Mike, who is thinking of moving in with the Brody fam to take care of the kids. This idea sounds more appealing to Jessica after she hears her husband is, in fact, a terrorist. All that “CIA Stuff” he’s been doing? Oh, that was sex with Carrie. Good thing he gave Mike permish to take care of the kids.

This is just his official photo cause Chris is too busy leaving the room to be on the show for more than five seconds.

This is just his official photo cause Chris Brody doesn’t do much but stand anyway.

Chris Brody – Constantly being asked to leave the room. Now aware that Daddy is a terrorist. Otherwise much of the same.

#TeenAngst

#TeenAngst

Dana Brody – is frowning SO HARD. After accidentally killing a woman in a car accident with her boyfriend Finn, she tells them their romance, like the lady they killed, is dead. Then she finds out her Dad is a terrorist and cries and frowns a lot. That being said, there are hints (in the Season 3 trailer – see below!) that homegirl may grow up a little in Season 3 by trying to empathize. Because getting down on a mat to pray will totally help you understand why your Dad killed the Vice President of the United States and blew up 218 civilians.

Saul – Per the above trailer, Saul is f’sho going to be head of the CIA now that Estes is dead. The premiere already aired and he already is. Also, he was busy burying Abu Nazir at sea while the bombing happened. The bombing that got him promoted. Note: I love Saul. I am down for him to be promoted. It is convenient that he was neither killed nor put in danger. Just saying.

Star cross luvers 2gether 4ever? Or maybe not so much.

From Star-crossed lovers & 2gether 4ever, to…

...Let my Brody go?

Ready, set, temper tantrum! Let myyyyy Brodyyyyy gooooo.

Carrie Mathison – still crying. Still missing her Brody. They exchanged “I love you’s” after mutually agreeing not to shoot each other after Carrie accused Brody of bombing Estes+218 and he denied it. “This was love, you and me,” Brody said IN THE PAST TENSE. “But it’s not goodbye,” Carrie responds, in the present. “However it hurts the least,” Brody replies, skirting the question. Sayonara, Bro. Hope you die next season and I get to see Claire Danes and Rupert Friend naked together!

Season 3 brody: Hella Bald.

Season 3 brody: Hella Bald.

Brody – After effing up the Vice President’s pacemaker super big time and then letting/watching/helping said Vice President die in his own office, Brody left to go get Carrie back from Abu Nazir, who had kidnapped her. Shortly after the two were reunited – Nazir still at large, VP dead in office – a big fat bomb (planted in Brody’s car) went off and killed hella civilians. Brody then left Carrie with some aforementioned skirt-arounds and minced words about love, then took off across the border to Canada, since no one but Carrie believes he’s innocent. According to Season 3 trailer, he’s now bald and in a hoodie somewhere that isn’t America. Oh, and he’s the most wanted man in the world.

All of it is so totally plausible!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Homeland Season 3 Precap: Wassup with where we left off?

  1. Pingback: Homeland S3E1: Our Thoughts + Emotions | Tube Top Television

  2. Pingback: I Watched House of Versace, and This is Me Telling You You Should Too. | Tube Top Television

  3. Pingback: The Homeland Hail Mary | Tube Top Television

  4. Pingback: A Parody of The EMMY Awards! And other lovely things Seth Meyers did. | Tube Top Television

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s