I’m assuming that at this point you’ve all had your fill of teeny tiny babies dressed up like dinosaurs, horrible monsters, and my favorite, the noble pumpkin. But just because it’s now November– the month that sucks until you get to Thanksgiving and then immediately turns into a Hellish consumerist bloodsport the day after—does not mean we have to give up the ghost (get it??) of cool Halloween funtimes. Halloween funtimes never have to end, my sweets. We just have to keep them alive in our hearts.
But also I’m a little tuckered from doling out candy to babies and so this is gonna run a little short and I’M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
THINGS FOR WHEN YOU WANT A STUPENDOUS AND BRIEF HALLOWEEN CLIP SHOW!!!!!!!!!
1. Anything Can Happen on Halloween, from the TV movie, The Worst Witch, which was a cinematic triumph that England birthed unto the world in 1986 that I mostly don’t remember except for this scene. Of note:
– Tim Curry
– Tim Curry plays a character named “The Grand Wizard,” which is… someone should have been paying more attention there.
– The lyrics to this song are essentially just a list of nouns randomly paired with actions based only on what rhymes with “ween,” truly hitting home the notion that anything can happen on Halloween.
– Tim Curry STILL tries to make this song a sexy thing.
– The changeover from the spooky beginning part to the super funky melody is a work of aesthetic finesse and catastrophe.
– The reference to how cool “vid-ee-os” are.
– Speaking of which, the incredible VIDEO EDITING, which was likely all done on KidPix.
– The shoehorning-in of the line “Has anybody seen my tambourine?”
– Tim Curry
2. “Pumpkin Dance.” No one knows where it came from. No one knows who the man under the pumpkin mask really is. No one knows why there’s a weird failed nighttime news comedy act attached at the end, and no one knows why I’ve watched this unnecessarily long video so many times, but some mysteries are ingrained in the vary fibres of our universe and there they will remain.
3. Treehouse of Horror VI, specifically the segment “Homer^3,” which actually terrified me as a six year old. You may say that it was just a satirical comedy cartoon, but to that I respond IT WAS SUDDENLY IN 3D!!!!!! which at the time was the wave of the future, etc etc etc. And very scary. Also does anyone else notice how sad the end of the segment is???? Maybe it takes an Angeleno to understand, but any episode that results in Homer dumpster diving behind an erotic cake shop in live action Los Angeles is both a horror story and a tragedy.
4. This crazy baby!!! 17 million views.
5. The Opening to The Nightmare Before Christmas, because in reality this has been my favorite movie since I was four years old. And now, I wasn’t a Hot Topic late adopter who discovered this movie the same time I found out about Steam Punk. I was just a weird 4 year old who was afraid of literally everything, including but not limited to the dark, the sound of whistling, game shows, the possibility that I was a vampire, and falling out of bed in my sleep, but who loved, down to my deepest core, this grotesquely beautiful movie about demons and monsters who terrorize children for fun.
I’m not going to write more about this movie because as soon as I started thinking about it my heart started gushing and I couldn’t decide if the right angle was Danny Elfman’s voice or existentialism or romance or funny jokes about bodies falling apart. So I’m saving this one for later. PUT A PIN IN IT, INTERNET.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE. (I’m pretending November doesn’t happen.)