The GIRLS Season 3 Trailer is heeeeeeeere! As avid Girls fans, Lena fans, and premium cable fans, the Tube Top Team could not be more excited. So, while we bide our time until the premiere – 1/12/14, according to Lena’s instagram – we’ll be watching, re-watching, and hungrily predicting what’s to come for our fearsome foursome in season 3. Love you, Lena.
Below please find just a few of the many inferences drawn, feelings felt, and wishes wished that resulted from this titillating trailer viewing experience:
1) “The glory of God is all around us, Hannah! Trees. Frogs. Birdie-Birds!” says Adam, in the first lines of the trailer. YES. ADAM. LOVE YOU. YOU ARE SO SEXY. SO GLAD YOU ARE FOR REAL BACK TOGETHER AND NOT JUST RUNNING ACROSS THE CITY FOR A FACETIME RESCUE MISSION. YOU REALLY WERE ALWAYS HERE. Hannah = not so thrilled. “I hate this!” she replies – note the awkward Shosh standing between them, looking tres les miserables. He tells her she can do it, calls her “Kid” in that weirdo way that makes my panties wet. “Yeah but you know what, Adam? It’s really liberating to say ‘no’ to shit you hate.”
Hopes and Dreams: Hannah grows this season by getting better at saying ‘no’ to shit she hates, but learning what she can’t say ‘no’ to. Such as: cubicle jobs, paying your dues (maybe not for Lena, but for the rest of us… yeah… suck it up), compromising with others, adhering to a responsible sleep schedule. Of course, she’ll be learning all these lessons the hard way, or Girls wouldn’t be what it is.
2) “Can you believe that my friend told me she died because she didn’t want to hang out with me?” Yes, Jessa. Yes we can. So can Shosh, judging by the look on her face, and the fact that… what? She’s speaking her mind? “Yeah no I totally get that.”
Hopes and Dreams: Jessa chills the fuck out on the anger issues, but only a little. Shoshanna learns to speak up for all these betches who are constantly crashing in her totes adorbs apartment that Aunt Eileen thinks is like, the perfect bachelorette pad.
3) Marnie: “I am OK. I may not seem OK and I may not be OK now but I’m, like, OK,” says Marnie as she works out furiously, drinks a full glass of red wine, and pulls her head back under the covers during what is clearly the daytime. Hmm…
Hopes and Dreams: The writers stop being unfair to the pretty girl and give her some agency (working out is totally a step in the right direction), her best friend back (is Hannah the one asking if she’s OK? I hope so…), and maybe someone to come to her effing rescue. Homegirl is depressed. She needs help, and maybe a little perspective. After all, she’s just trying to be perfect! Is that so much to ask? Because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s been asked of her, all her life.
4) Shosh: “My life is a mess. And I know that was a personal choice, but maybe it’s time for me to un-choose that choice.” Shoshanna, unlike Marnie (and maybe talking to Marnie, although all we see is a bit of brown hair in the frame, so it could be an NYU student/friend), is being up front about the fact that she’s totally falling apart. She would like to un-choose her choice of Ray, despite her having what looks like terrible sex with him in one frame of the trailer. Get it girl. Awareness is the first step, and that hair is too good to waste on a 30-something Man Child who is too cheap to buy you tacos.
4.5) “I am trying to follow the protocols of a gentleman and a squire,” Ray says… maybe to her? We don’t see who he’s speaking to. I hope he’s speaking to someone else. Because seriously, Bitch, don’t kill Shosh’s vibe. Let her roam free like the social butterfly that she is.
Hopes and Dreams: Ray goes away. Shoshanna blossoms into a full-fledged, sexually liberated New York Woman. She wears her Miranda hat at work, but sometimes when she’s feeling cray cray, Samantha kind of comes out.
5) Hannah is twerking on a gravestone like Miley.
Hopes and Dreams: Donald Glover returns to call her out for her epic racism as evidenced by her twerking. She responds, “but Miley does it!” to which he replies “fair enough.” And walks away.
6) Something about Adam not liking Hannah’s friends.
Hopes and Dreams: Adam learns to accept them, beginning with Shoshanna, who gives him the full-blown makeover she was never permitted to give Ray, and the two of them start a high end underwear fashion line + modeling business hybrid that requires Adam to be shirtless and/or in his underwear for every episode of Girls ever.
Hannah, in an interview, for a job that I sincerely hope she gets, takes, and keeps for more than 2 episodes: “I feel like I’m a person who just like, can’t keep my mouth shut.” CUT TO: Hannah spitting all over someone at a bar. Perfect. SO PERFECT.
“Hannah why don’t you place just one crumb of basic human compassion on this fat free muffin of sociopathic attachment.” What are you even saying, Ray? If you’re referring to a real muffin, that is terrible advice. If not, stop speaking in metaphors, you pretentious pseudo-academic life ruiner.
“It’s amazing that I hold the keys to the prison that is my mind,” says Hannah to… a therapist? YES. Yes, a therapist. (I think.) She needs one of those.
Counting down the days until 1/12/14!