Last night, Seth Meyers took the EMMY Awards by storm. Despite the fact that they were on a Monday (which hasn’t happened since 1976 – “but no one remembers the 1976 EMMY Awards, because they were on a Monday!) and the categories were more confusing than ever, Seth managed to turn the evening into a hilarious affair.
He began with a monologue lampooning everything about TV’s current state, quick to call attention to the strange dichotomies pervading television today. “This year, we’re doing the Emmy’s on a Monday night in August, which if I understand television, means the Emmy’s are about to get cancelled.”
He explained the VMA scheduling conflict: “That’s right MTV still has an award for music videos, even though they no longer show music videos. That’s like Network TV holding an award show, and giving all the trophies to Cable and Netflix. That would be crazy!” LOL. Isn’t it funny how so many jokes can be made by simply telling the truth?
He went on to praise the various nominations, and “so many great shows this year,” before introducing the beginning of the comedy nominations: “We have comedies that made you laugh, and comedies that made you cry, because they were dramas that were submitted as comedies.” Then he took one last minute to “congratulate the writers in the room this year, though their seats are too far away for them to hear me.” It was like a better weekend update: All the jokes were about Hollywood and I understood them!
As everyone sat silently in one place and “waited for the pills to kick in” because the Emmy’s don’t serve alcohol, he introduced his friend “Beyonce,” who was actually Amy Poehler looking so hot she might as well have been Beyonce, and the awards began. Amy introduced the nominees for “best onscreen orgasm in a Civil War reenactment,” oh wait, best supporting actor in a comedy series, and Modern Family began its Comedy Domination. This, unlike the rest of the Emmy’s, felt like the usual. Modern Family is both a critical darling and a ratings hit, and the episode they submitted – Las Vegas – really did fire on all cylinders. Do I like every other show nominated more than Modern Family except The Big Bang Theory? Yes. Do I fully understand why Modern Family won as much as it did? Also yes.
I don’t like reality TV so I’m not going to recap those awards, but Mindy was there in a custom made dress. So that was cool.
Keeping in the theme of running the Emmy’s like SNL, Seth Meyers also brought out his BFF Andy Samberg and The King of Parody, Weird Al Yankovic, to make fun of celebrated theme songs. Highlights included “Beautiful woman… Ugly crying… Inigo Montoya grew a beard!” (Homeland) and “Here comes dragons galore and some boobs…” + “Type George, type as fast as you tyyyype. We… need more scripts!” as George R.R. Martin was handed a typewriter in the audience.
I’ll just let you watch it so you can hear ALL THE JOKES.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Bryan Cranston made out after they presented and she pretended to forget he was on Seinfeld back in the day. So he stormed the stage and made out with her when she won best actress in a comedy series for Veep, which, if you are not watching, you should catch up on.
Even Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey were good enough sports to agree to present for the Mini-series or Movie category, which must have been a deliberate choice, just to remind HBO who would have been accepting those awards had they dealt with their categories correctly.
There was a brief pause for sincerity when Billy Crystal came on stage and delivered a sweet speech about Robin Williams, then right back to the shenanigans. The joke about trying to diversify the industry while Sofia Vergara stood spinning on a pedestal – a symbol of feminism and diversity! – didn’t go over so well with the Internet. However, to look at the show as a parody of itself, and to love Seth Meyers as much as I do, is to forgive and forget and at least laugh at the self-awareness of it all. It’s a step in the right direction?
Chris Hardwick gave a nice little PSA to Internet Trolls about the difference between “You’re” and “Your,” which I thoroughly appreciated, because how do people not know the difference yet? Sarah Silverman let us know we were all just “molecules hurtling through space,” and Julia Roberts won the award for “Most Xanax Ever Taken Before An Award Show,” then we were on to the most important part of the night.
Cue – Drumroll pleeeeease – The Drama Categories. Breaking Bad was given all the credit it deserves. Moira Walley-Beckett, lady writer extraodinaire, won the writing Emmy for her episode, Ozymandias, which I fully believe to be one of the best episodes of television of all time. Moira – who now has her own show, Flesh & Bone, on Starz, WHICH IS ABOUT BALLERINAS AND WHICH I AM SO EXCITED FOR – also accompanied Vince Gilligan and Actor-Winners Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston to the stage to take home Breaking Bad‘s Best Drama Series award, which it was. If there are any plebes on this earth who love television and still have not seen BB, treat yo’self to a weekend inside with Netflix. It’s worth the trouble.
First though, watch the Emmy’s if you haven’t seen them yet. Here’s some peer pressure: 15.6 million people are doing it, er, already did it. And they were great! Even if they did push everyone off after 90 seconds to get the show in on time (Vince Gilligan, guys? Really? Let the man talk.), I am officially on Team Seth Meyers forever, and rooting for him to host again next year.
But even if you don’t watch them, your agent still wants you to know that you’re crushing it right now. Just killing it, buddy. So great.