Television

Everybody Shake Your Tail Feather—Downton Abbey Is Back!

We know we know, you’re long past caring about the fate of the Crawleys along with the rest of America but guess what… my grandma and I are not! The upturned and slightly less upturned noses of Downton came prancing back on the scene last night and we’re not the ~only~ ones who are stoked.

OH GOODY!

OH GOODY!

Here’s where we stand:

+ Tony Gillingham is calling Mary on her shit and tells her her mind is clearly made up so why not sleep with him already (OK, MORE OR LESS IS THIS WHAT HAPPENED).

+ Uhh Carson strokes Robert’s ego after the town majorly disses their traditional leader.

+ Uhhh I’m not sure I care about Tom’s love life.

+ Not sure I care about Lady Isobel’s love life either, but I do like Grandmama Maggie playing Cupid with old widows and widowers’ hearts.

+ Baxter is a FELON WITH A HEART OF GOLD (and evil Thomas no longer has the upper hand on this nice Lady’s Maid).

+ In attempt to win Felon/Maid/Pretty Lady Baxter’s heart, Mowlsley dyes his hair black and the Crawleys ask him if he has Spanish heritage (totes ok). He is then banished to the dungeon until his hair returns to normal.

+ Lady Edith continues to be sad and then BURNS DOWN THE FUCKING ABBEY!

so hot in. so hot in hurr.

so hot in. so hot in hurr.

Yes, really. In anguish, Lady Edith throws a book that belonged to her now mysteriously disappeared intended beau. Said book is accidentally lobbed into the fireplace and voila… flames at Downton! BTW the book throwing was my favorite moment of the show. I now feel bad for laughing since it obviously caused so much damage to their priceless upholstery. Almost as bad as Lady Edith felt before the book throwing … behold that beautiful moment.

Edith always getting the short end of the stick got me like

Edith always getting the short end of the stick got me like

Don’t worry, the DFD (downton fire department) succeeds in putting out the fire, but a lot of dramz shook out while the flames were doused. Jimmy’s now out of a job because of his cougaring ways, Edith will be able to hang with her estranged baby, and Thomas is back in the good graces of Cora the Flighty for “raising the alarm.”

Wow, thanks for saving Edith, Thomas. Because we all would have missed HER so much.

Wow, thanks for saving Edith, Thomas. Because we all would have missed HER so much.

Truly, I used to watch this show seriously. I got upset when my roommate laughed at Mary’s “stone vagina” as she once said because I thought the show’s devotion to “periodness” was a powerful way to look at love, class, and systemic change over time (like that time that the Patriarchy killed Sybil, remember?). But now, I watch it for the lolz and because it’s some quality entertainment and has been relegated to “guilty pleasure” territory. Plus, thanks to Downton’s Britishness and lack of violence/sex (thx, PBS!), the show is something my grandma and I have in common, and that helps make the Sunday night hour worth it. Let’s hope for more book-flinging and blazing infernos in the weeks to come!

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